


The Bisexual Disaster of a Ballsy Smol Bean

by therogueheart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Crack, Fluff, JARVIS helps, JARVIS lands Tony in it, M/M, Peter is a disaster, Peter loves Tony, Safe For Work, Sexuality Crisis, Soft Boys, Sort Of, Tony loves Peter, a malaysian domanatrix, sfw, teenage sexuality crisis, tony isn't much better, tumblr import, we stan two bisexual morons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therogueheart/pseuds/therogueheart
Summary: "What do you like in a guy?""Me""...."
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 205





	The Bisexual Disaster of a Ballsy Smol Bean

Peter was fairly sure he was bisexual. Or…Was it pansexual? He wasn’t sure. He knew he liked girls. He liked their long hair and their soft lips and the curve of their waists, where it was so easy to wrap his arms around them. Girls were sweet and soft-voiced and even though he was a virgin, he knew from general research they were soft and wet down there, sticky and warm. He imagined he would like that. 

Ad he knew he liked men. Men specifically, because the softness and the youth of the boys his age rarely interested him. The slim bodies and the flat torsos and the baby faces were only barely attractive in the right combinations. _Men_ , though. 

Tall and broad. With their deep, smooth voices and the stubble and the sharp jaws. The big hands and the cut lines of their bodies, so much larger than his own. The experienced glint in their eyes, the overall feel of an older man. It made Peter shiver just thinking about it. 

It made him do a lot more than shiver thinking about _specific_ older men. Tall, broad blondes with dazzling grins and a boyish charm that didn’t seem to fade even when he kicked through concrete. Norse Gods with braided hair and muscles that could snap Peter in half. A girth that could _split_ him in half. Tall, brown haired archers that quipped jokes and offered affection in casual, intimate doses. 

Cheeky, eccentric billionaires with styled stubble and broad shoulder. A mouth that was always sinful in one way or another. The scent of aftershave and motor oil and metal. Startling honey eyes that he could drown in. Soft, dark hair that stuck at odd angles unless it had been professionally attacked. 

Cheeky, eccentric billionaires especially. Or to be more specific, _one_ cheeky, eccentric billionaire. 

Peter groaned in frustration, tossing his phone aside and rubbing the light spots from his eyes. That wasn’t the point of this. The articles had been helpful - Somewhat, but Peter still didn’t know what he was. Did he like older men because of Daddy issues? Did he only like them because he was bonded to them? ( _Demisexual_?) 

“JARVIS?” Peter grumbled, flopping pathetically over onto his stomach and burying his face into his pillow. Why was this so hard? Why was there so many labels? Why did Thor’s arms alone make him hard in his pants? Why was he able to cum just _thinking_ about his mentor, no touching required? 

“Yes, Mr. Parker?” Came JARVIS’s soft, soothing intone. Peter loved his voice, and would often fall asleep to JARVIS reading books or voicing documentaries from subtitles. 

“What does Mr. Stark identify as? Sexually?” Peter mumbled into his pillow, his cheeks burning. The AI was quiet for a little while, apparently thinking it over. Peter waited impatiently, turning his head to the side so he could breathe. 

“I believe that Sir identifies as ‘all loving’, if his previous remarks are to be held accountable. Mr. Stark has had experiences with people of the male and female persuasion, alongside those who identify as transgender. I do not believe that Mr. Stark has ever appointed a specific label to his sexuality. He also prefers to be the more Dominant partner in a pairing, alongside being the ‘top’ in a homosexual partnership. Although as I am sure you know from your research into his exploits, he has also experienced Submission and penetration”. 

Abort mission. Instant back button. How did one un-do life? 

Peter’s cheeks flamed and he squeezed his eyes shut, thankful for the soundproofing on his room. Good christ. JARVIS really knew how to land someone in it, didn’t he? Did Tony know he said this? Had Tony ever thought to put constraints on what JARVIS did and didn’t say? 

JARVIS knew he’d watched Tony’s videos, too. Fuck. But of course he did, because JARVIS knew everything that went on within the Tower, and a lot about what went on outside of it, too. Peter had watched the videos on a VPN, but he’d still been on the Wi-Fi at the Tower, had still been running through JARVIS. 

Fuck. 

“Are you questioning your sexuality, Mr. Parker?” JARVIS asked in the silence he left, and Peter shrugged morosely into his pillow. “Perhaps I could bring up some helpful information based on your behavioural patterns that may assist you?”. 

JARVIS’ idea of ‘help’ turned out to be half porn and half professional studies and experiments that made Peter’s head hurt. Despondent and mopey, he dragged himself from his bed and stopped off at the kitchen to make Tony a bribery coffee. He added some biscuits to the saucer before making his way down to the workshop, where he found Tony bent over an old Mark XI. 

“Mr. Stark?” He called, padding down the steps and across to where the man appeared to be tinkering with a wiring loom. The billionaire gave a sound of acknowledgement to his presence, but continued his work. “I brought you coffee. And biscuits” Peter added, moving closer to set them within a safe distance. 

“Thanks, kid. You’re a star” Tony muttered, his gaze never leaving his work. It had been one of those days where nothing short of the apocalypse would drag Tony away from his tinkering. Peter shuffled and fidgeted for a while, then sucked in a breath. 

“Mr. Stark?” 

“Mm?” 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Mm.”

“Are you…I know that you like…But what do you…?” Peter huffed in frustration, rubbing at his jaw as he tried to think of how to say it. Tony raised a brow in amused query, but didn’t lift his gaze for long, chewing a screwdriver between his teeth as he focused. 

“Right. Okay. Out with it. _Whatdoyouidentifyassexualitywise?_ ” He blurted out, cheeks flaming. Tony actually paused then, head tilting consideringly as he processed what Peter said. It took him a bare few seconds and then he set down his tools, lifting his gaze and straightening. 

“What’s my sexuality?” He asked curiously, reaching up to run his fingers along his stubble in thought. Peter could feel the panic beginning to well in his throat, the sheer mortification at the scenario he’d implemented. 

“I asked JARVIS but he wasn’t very helpful. He just showed me porn and talked about studies from Yale and told me you like to be Dominant but then you also got pegged that one time and I was curious and I -” Peter cut himself off with a look of abject horror, one that was steadily reflected on Tony’s face before the billionaire looked up at the ceiling, appalled. 

“JARVIS said _what_?”

“Oh my god” Peter muttered, paling. 

“Oh my _god_ ” Tony repeated, though he sounded exasperated. 

“Mr. Parker was inquiring about components of your sexuality which may assist him the exploration of his own sexual identity. I did not believe such information - already largely public - to transgress any potential appropriate social boundaries” JARVIS replied back calmly, ever the reasonable pillar of honesty. 

“Telling my mentee that I got pegged by a Malaysian Dominatrix is absolutely transgressing the appropriate social boundaries!” Tony flailed, narrowing his eyes at the ceiling. Peter gave a strangled cough. 

“Uh…Well. He didn’t actually go into _that_ much detail about it” he mumbled, desperately looking anywhere but his mentor, who froze with the typical expression of someone who’d just landed themselves in deep shit. 

“Ah” Tony responded delicately. And Jesus Christ, wasn’t this just Peter’s life? What did he do with his existence now that he knew his mentor had been topped by a Malaysian Domme lady? 

“Okay. Right. Well…I suppose you could say I just…Appreciate all forms of beauty, and that I’m not picky about what lies between the legs” Tony remarked stiffly, picking up his screwdriver again. “If you’re greedy, like me, and live life by being as distracted and as scandalous as possible, also like me, its a good philosophy to have” he hummed, waggling the tool before diving back into the mechanical shell. 

“Okay. So…Did you just know? Or did you experiment with stuff? Like, how did you realise you liked everyone? Or do you just not care?” The questions came out before he could stop them, pouring into the space between him and Tony as he perched on the edge of the workbench. Tony grunted in response, lifting a finger. 

“One at a time, Underoos. Are you at that age already? Is this the sexual identity crisis stage? Do we need to have The Talk? Christ. Now I’m the one spewing out questions” Tony muttered, pausing to frown at his hands like they were personally responsible, before continuing. 

“As you know, my only goal in my early life was to piss off Daddy Dearest. Naturally, that involved as much trouble and scandal as I could land myself in without causing national outrage. One of the easiest ways to cause that was sex” Tony answered simply, a motion of his hand activating a holo lamp at his side. 

“Public sex. Prostitutes brazenly leaving my college dorm. Gay sex. Sex with women dressed as men. Sex with men dressed as women. Sex tapes” Tony rattled off, unaware of the furious forest fire that had taken over Peter’s cheeks and the agonising regret that curdled in his stomach. 

“So, y’know. I suppose I had a large appetite for sex, back then. I didn’t particularly care who, or what they had. But I enjoyed it all. Even finding out the things I didn’t like” Tony continued, hissing as a wire spat at him in rebellion.

Peter had only just begun to dip his toes into likes and dislikes. His only easy method of experimentation was porn, but he generally got the gist of what he felt he’d enjoy, and what got him off at the sight and thought. Still. 

“What…What do you like in men?” He asked after a moment, forcing himself to stutter the words out. Peter had yet to really experience anything with a man. Though he was limited in his experience with girls, too. He’d not really done much beyond heavy petting and intense kissing. Oh, and some grinding off while clothed. 

“Me” Tony replied distractedly, and it took a solid four seconds for his response to hit both of them. Tony’s head shot up with a puzzled yet mortified expression. “That…Was not my intended answer” he announced after a moment, sounding pained. 

And, well. At least Peter wasn’t the _only_ one dying of embarrassment and failure, here. 

“I figured. With the clues” Peter managed to wheeze out, gaze settling somewhere off to the far wall. It was a nice wall. Blue. There was still a burn mark in the shape of a hand on there. Very interesting. 

“Why am I the integral source of information for your questioning?” Tony aimed to distract, and it worked. Peter was immediately lost in trying to find a way to respond that didn’t involve _because you’re the subject of most of my sexual thoughts_ in one way or another.

“Because you’re my mentor. And I trust you. And because you have a vast experience and data pool” Peter responded slowly, applying terrifying focus to each word to make sure he didn’t accidentally blurt out any more damning information. Tony actually looked rather touched when he forced himself to meet his gaze again. 

“Flattering. And logical” Tony concluded with a nod, setting down his tools thoughtfully. He moved to hop onto the edge of the workdesk next to Peter, wiping at his brow and reaching for his coffee. “Well. I suppose I don’t necessarily have a specific type. I’m a…I’m not picky, when it comes to my partner. Obviously I only go for someone I find attractive, especially these days when its not so much for the gains or the scandal” Tony mused, around the edge of his mug. 

“I like intelligence. Especially if I’m looking for something longer-term than just a hook up. I like to talk, I like to be listened to and spoken to. I like being able to have invigorating discussions, like we do” Tony continued, and Peter tried to ignore the static tingle that sent down his spine. _Like we do._

“Appearance wise…I suppose it depends. If I’m looking for a hook up, I often have a set sort of ‘theme’ for what I’m feeling. Sometimes I want a big, tall beefcake of a man. Sometimes I want a sexy, dramatic woman that scares me as much as excited me. Sometimes I want soft and plaint. Sometimes I want bratty, witty, a little bit of a fight back”. Tony was getting lost in the thoughts, steering the conversation down a road Peter wasn’t sure he could handle. 

“That’s…Thanks. Mr. Stark. For the help” he cut off, before Tony could continue delving into his sexual preferences and exploits. The image of Tony, pinned under some musclehead and getting pounded into the mattress was going to stick to Peter forever. 

“What about you, kiddo? Found any preferences since beginning your journey of self exploration?” Tony said it almost mockingly, but there was something genuine in his gaze, something soft in the way he glanced across at Peter, a steak of motor oil above his brow from where he’d wiped himself. 

Peter faltered. Bar a few actors and other celebrities, the main components of his male orientated sexuality lay at The Avengers. The only exception was Bruce, who was so brotherly to Peter that it was impossible for him to be seen as anything sexualised. 

But if Peter begun to wax poetic about broad shoulders, styled facial hair, accents and powers? Tony was for sure going to figure it out. Steve had picked up on his crush pretty quickly, although had taken it more as being a fan, starstruck rather than horny. 

“I…I think I’m bisexual. As a start. I know I like girls” he begun gingerly, picking at the hem of his shirt. For a short while, he’d been doting over MJ. Her strong personality and her curls, her spit-fire attitude and her humour. Her gorgeous eyes and the shape of her jaw. It had faded over time, the closer they grew. Now he still loved her, but as a part of himself. “I know _why_ I like girls. And…I like men, too”. He wondered if Tony would pick up on the difference between the nouns. Girls vs women, boys vs men. 

By the shift in the placement of Tony’s eyebrow, he did. 

“And do you know _why_ you like men?” Tony asked, as though one might tap their toes around in suspect of a landmine. Peter tried to control the thundering of his heart and the sightly nauseous feeling that stuck at the bottom of his throat. Okay. Minor details. Nothing incriminating. 

“I…Yeah. I mean, I like the way they make me feel. When I think about them. I don’t really have much actual _experience_ with men. But I know there’s things I enjoy. And I think…I think I might prefer men. Especially for the long-term. I dunno, every time I think of settling down, its always with a man” he huffed, brows furrowing. It went unsaid that it was always with a _specific_ man, though Tony couldn’t know that. 

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Perhaps you enjoy the sexual aspect of girls more so than the romantic aspect?” Tony suggested, supping at his coffee again before pausing. “As for a label…If you don’t _want_ to label it, don’t” he shrugged simply, and Peter lifted his gaze to him in wonder. 

“Labels are made up. They’re only widely accepted because there’s no alternative, and there’s such a large collective of people in agreement over it. You never have to label yourself. I never have; when I’m asked about my sexual affairs and my romantic plans, I just tell them the truth. I’m a greedy lover, and I have none” Tony continued, offering Peter a small, soft smile. 

“Labels are often to help people find a sense of self and belonging. To offer a means of validation. It gives them something to attach themselves to; like an anchor. Stability, self-sense, self-belonging. But its not necessary, and sometimes labels just don’t ‘fit’ right with how you feel, so. My long-winded point is; you don’t have to actively make a label an objective. Just be you” Tony hummed, knocking their shoulders together. 

Peter could almost cry. He must’ve looked it, too, because Tony shifted, slinging an arm over his shoulders and rubbing his thumb along his bicep. “You’ll still be my annoying, adorable, intelligent, clumsy little protegè whatever you wanna stick your dick into, kid” Tony reassured him, and the word vomit came up faster than Peter could clench his jaw. 

“What if I wanna be stuck? By the dicks?”. 

Fuck it. He might as well just move now. Change his name; his social security number. Maybe hide out on some remote island with no Wi-Fi for anyone to find to find him. He was too cowardly to leap off the balcony, so a total Ghost Protocol was the most suitable choice. 

Except Tony didn’t even seem to blink. “I advise not getting actually _stuck on a dick_ , but whatever floats your boat, kid. God knows I’m not one to judge”. 

Right. Malaysian Dominatrix. Tall beefcakes. 

Wait. 

“Adorable?” Peter asked, nose scrunching as he looked up at Tony. Adorable as in, puppy you wanna pet but definitely not fuck? Or adorable as in you’re-so-cute-I-wanna-put-my-dick-in-you? Tony glanced at him briefly and coughed, trapped. 

“With the - The hair. And the face. Definitely the face. The clumsy can be as cute as it is frustrating” Tony responded warily, as though each word was a merry step into a trap. Peter’s heart sank a little. Right. This was more along the lines of the puppy analogy. 

“My face?” He asked after a moment, and Tony looked a little like he’d sucked on a lemon, but gestured vaguely. 

“You know. With the…The eyes. And the cheeks. The baby face. The mouth”. Tony seemed to startle at that, but forged on valiantly. “You’re an attractive kid. And you’ll grow into your looks. No doubt either way you swing, you’re gonna land some hits” Tony reassured him, pulling his arm from Peter’s shoulders.

Let it go. Don’t say anything. Don’t ruin this. 

“You think I’m attractive?” 

_Fuck_. 

Tony eyed him warily, paused in where he had begun to retreat back to his work. Peter bit down on his tongue with a cringe, head ducking a little as he expected a verbal attack in response. There was silence for a long time. 

“Uh” Tony responded, appropriately caught out and at a loss for words. But he wasn’t denying it, and Peter twisted, putting on the most earnest expression he could give. 

“Because I think I know how you can help me figure out what I like”. 


End file.
